Introduction to Networking

Summary:
Learn about the different types of networks and how they work. Start networking by discovering how you can use the contacts you have (your personal and professional contacts) to support both your job search and career development.

Keywords: nodes, tides, social network, developmental network, strategic network, power network, network mongrel, lone ranger mentality.

Lesson 1:

• Nodes And Ties
  
  
• Getting Started -- Network Mongrels, Lone Ranger Mentality and You.
  
  
• Questions for Expanding Your Awareness
  
  
• Lesson 2: Facing Your Fears
  
  

Nodes And Ties

You hear the term all the time, networking. Contrary to belief it's not a new term but was first written about fifty two years ago by J. A. Barnes in the Journal Human Relations in an article entitled "Class and Committees - A Norwegian Island Parish." It was then called Social Networking Theory or Network Theory and is studied in the Social Sciences in most universities.

"Social Network theory views societal relations in terms of Nodes and Ties. Nodes are the individuals in any given social network. Ties are the relationships between the individuals. Therefore a social network is just a map of all the relationships between the nodes. Social Networks also help determine the social capital of individuals."

According to Pierre Bourdieu in the Forms of Capital, "Social Capital comes in three forms: economic, cultural and social"

For our intents and purposes we're concerned mainly with social capital which is the aggregate of the actual potential resources linked to a possession of a durable network of more or less institutionalized relationships of mutual acquaintance and recognition."

I know you're thinking, can you put that in plain English please. Basically social capital is what you get from your networks.

Most people have networks through three areas:

• Economics which are business and working experiences;
  
  
• Cultural - ethnic or religious affiliations and charities;
  
  
• Social - friends and families, teammates, casual acquaintances.
  
  

I polled some of my friends and colleagues, my social network, about what they thought a network was. They ranged in age from 20 to 70, all socioeconomic status groups, more women than men. Some immediately thought of the workings inside a computer while others thought of television networks.

However, when I said social networks many said, "oh, I don't need those. I don't work in big business or in any professional field. I just work in a store or volunteer at church. Plus, I don't like using people. People who network only want you to do something for them but you don't get anything back." These type of networkers are known for having the lone ranger mentality. We'll discuss them in a bit.

Other friends who work in government, both local and federal, regarded networking as a means to brainstorm and develop new ideas and paradigms. They stated they network online and at conferences, workshops, trade fairs. They make new contacts and find new resources through networking and oftentimes they can help others with their expertise and knowledge.

A third year business student at the University of Cape Town explained networks like this "Networking is getting to know people through other people you know, with the benefit that you can call on them for assistance or make use of their expertise. Oh and be willing to return the favor."

Nan H, from eSight Careers Network cited networking as being about favors as well "I have a natural instinct for doing favors." She "loves to foster an individual's dreams and after years of doing this professionally, I started to notice something the favors came back."

Katharine Hanse, author of "A Foot in the Door" concurs and cites both Benjamin Franklin and Chris Matthews of Hardball on MSNBC "Benjamin Franklin said, If you want to make a friend, let someone do you a favour." Hansen continues "I blatantly stole that quote from Christopher Matthews who cites Franklin in his book Hardball, about how the game of politics is played. The art of letting people do you favors, which Matthews contends, is a key facet of political success, is also one of the best routes to successful networking. Contrary to what people think, Matthews writes, the most effective way to gain a person's loyalty is not to do him or her a favor but let that person do one for you."

Matthews explains "that when you enlist someone's aid, you are soliciting that person's investment in you and your success. The person not only feels good about helping you, but watches out for you in the future to make sure her faith in you is not misplaced. Those who give you a helping hand very often make a habit of looking out for you further down the road".

He continues, "We tend to remember the people we 'discover' along the way."

Each of us in his or her life will do networking.
We'll do developmental networking as we gather further contacts and referrals. We'll also do strategic networking when we want to get hired or hire someone else. We'll look to the people in the industry or field of endeavor we'd like to pursue.

However, Donna Fisher and Sandy Villas in their book "Power Networking-59 Secrets for Personal and Professional Success," have the most encompassing definition of networking I've found. "Networking is not just a way of interacting or a way of relating; it is a way of life that is designed around a strong foundation of relationships and supported by clarity of purpose and an attitude of service and contribution."

Fisher and Villas continue "People have the opportunity every day to make choices about life. Developing a lifestyle with networking as its base indicates you've already chosen a life of participation, contribution and relationship. With this as a basis of your actions and interactions you can easily respond to the choices that come your way to further the goals you have chosen for your life."

"The truth is people want to participate and contribute, to serve and support one another. They want a community, country and world where people are working together rather than fighting -- praising one another and celebrating accomplishments rather than hurting each other -ￂ? where the quality of life is positive and rewarding rather than depressing and dangerous."

"We can start by networking with each other for the good of all. And we can develop our ability to communicate effectively, listen with interest, ask for support and develop strong bonds within our families, communities, organizations and societies."

"Take the plunge and make a commitment to network as a way of life. It is a golden opportunity that offers a 'win-win' situation for everyone. Develop networking as your way of life and you will not only affect the people around you, you will also implement a ripple effect that will travel through the links in your network to other networks around the globe. Networking is more than just a good idea to expand your business, it is an opportunity to create a lifestyle that will have an impact on you, the people around you and the world we live in. Choose today to network as a way of life and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that you have chosen wisely for yourself and your world."


Getting Started - Network Mongrels, Lone Ranger Mentality and You.

Fisher and Villas have told us what networking is by their definition, they also tell us what networking is not.

What is a Network Mongrel?

I think we've all encountered them, especially those of us who have been in the working world for awhile. You may not have known what to call them other than a few words we can't say here, but networking mongrel is the best way I can think to describe them.

Fisher and Villas of Power Networking describe them this way:

• They collect a meaningless stack of business cards without connecting with the people.
  
  
• They try to make a 'sale' at a wedding, networking event or first encounter.
  
  
• They talk and focus on their agenda rather than listening with interest to gather information.
  
  
• They intrude inappropriately and have short superficial interactions.
  
  
• They walk over people and forget the value of taking time to establish relationship and rapport.
  
  
• They bombard people with ineffective email.
  
  

Do you remember Herb Tarleck from WKRP, the old TV show? The radio station salesman who always wore the white belt and shoes, loud clothes and was always trying to come on to the receptionist? When I read the above list he was the first guy I thought of . Maybe even Arthur Miller's Willy Loman from Death of a Salesman might qualify, but we've all met them and secretly rolled our eyes at them.

You DO NOT want to be a network mongrel.

That is NOT effective power networking. As Fisher and Villas say Networking is NOT any of the following:

• "Selling"
  
• Using people for your gain
  
• Coercing or manipulating someone to do what you want
  
• Putting friends, neighbors and associates on the spot
  
• Badgering people about your business
  
  

As a young adult I remember being invited to one of the more famous multi-level marketing schemes going around at the time. The hosts were friends of the family and I felt almost like I was not being a good friend to them if I didn't buy into the product. I came home feeling very guilty and my father who was a salesman said to me at the time no-one who is a good sales person makes their future customer or colleague feel guilty, they haven't done their job selling, they're coercing you. They haven't convinced you why you need or want to be invested in whatever they're selling.

Needless to say we drifted away from those people as did a lot of their other friends. We all felt like we were used and abused and when we didn't participate, we also didn't hear from them anymore. I couldn't tell you where they are now or what they're doing but I hope they've lost the network mongrel tendencies.

If you find yourself developing the network mongrel tendencies or someone tells you that you should network that way, run. Or try to entice them to a 'better way' of networking.


Have you ever met or known anyone with a 'Lone Ranger Mentality'?

• You have to be superman or superwoman and can accomplish major feats or at least everything in life on your own?
  
  
• You never show signs of difficulty or having problems;
  
  
• You never ask for help because that indicates weakness;
  
  
• And lord knows you don't want to appear weak in front of your peers, the world.
  
  

I think we can think of a few examples in our lives in the last century up to the present who might qualify for what Fisher and Villas call the 'lone ranger mentality'. "It is the driving thought that we should know it, have it all, always be the expert and fearlessly do it all on our own."

If you can finish the phrase "if you want the job done right ...", you've had an encounter with lone ranger mentality.

"Your attitude the day, your interactions with people and type of goals you set for yourself. It also affects your networking effectiveness. The Lone Ranger Mentality is a major stumbling block. The bad news is the attitude is ingrained in all of us to some degree. The good news is that you can choose to develop a new approach and say goodbye to the Lone Ranger Mentality."

Take this little test and see how many of the statements resonate with you and beware the Lone Ranger Mentality starting to creep in.

Answer yes or no to yourself -- be real and don't fudge your answers. Fisher and Villas' Lone Ranger mentality test goes like this:

• I can do this by myself.
  
  
• I don't need anyone's help.
  
  
• I should already know how to do this.
  
  
• I know what needs to be done here.
  
  
• I don't want to bother people with...
  
  
• People are busy with their own work.
  
  
• People don't want to be bothered.
  
  
• I can't let others know I don't know how to do this.
  
  
• I shouldn't need anyone's help.
  
  
• I should be smart enough to figure this out by myself.
  
  
• What will people think if I approach them about.
  
  

Dr. Phil calls this limiting thinking. You self sabotage and limit yourself from doing what you want to do or what you know you can accomplish. It's that inner tape that plays in your mind and stops you from becoming the best "you" you want to be -- from becoming a power networker.

Fisher and Villas say you change that limited lone ranger mentality by thinking this instead and saying it to yourself.

• I can do this quickly and easily by working with the resources in my network.
  
  
• I enjoy having others contribute to me and help me with my goals.
  
  
• I am willing to learn new things from others.
  
  
• By working with others, I learn new and better ways to handle challenges.
  
  
• People appreciate the opportunity to contribute their expertise.
  
  
• People feel included and appreciated when I approach them for assistance or ideas.
  
  
• I am confident and feel okay about letting others know what I need.
  
  
• I am smart enough to use the resources and relationships in my network for support and assistance.
  
  
• People will think I'm resourceful if I approach them with questions.
  
  
• Asking others' advice can help me in determining the best course of action.
  
  
• I am eager and enthusiastic about benefiting from the expertise and support of others.
  
  

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Questions for Expanding Your Awareness

1. Define in your own words: nodes, tides, social network, developmental network, strategic network, power network, network mongrel, lone ranger mentality.
   
   Tip: You'll get more out of this assignment if you cite some examples of each as it relates to your life (e.g. nodes: people in your network; ties: where they fit in your network; social network: your baseball team, your bridge club etc.)
   
   
2. Create your own Network Map
   
   Begin by making a list of everyone that you know. Next assign a category like family, friends, school, church, synagogue, work, etc. to everyone you have listed.
   
   Tip: Excel is an excellent program to use to create this list. Create a column for names and each of your categories. Then list your names and put the number 1 in the appropriate category column.
   
   When you finish you can use the sum feature to add up each column. This will let you know how many contacts you have in each category and which categories you may want to expand your contacts.
   
   
3. How many categories did you have?
   
   
4. What is your largest category?
   
   
5. What category do you want to expand?

Facing Your Fears

In our next section we'll look at facing your fears when it comes to networking, self esteem issues and the 8 habits of highly effective people which will make them great networkers.

Something to think about ...

If you want to be prosperous for a year, grown grain.

If you want to be prosperous for ten years, grow trees.

If you want to be prosperous for a lifetime, grow people.
-Proverb

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