Beyond Success

Summary:
From the book, "Break Out: Finding Freedom When You Don't Quite Fit The Mold," a modern literary memoir of 51 short stories about what it means to be presumed different.

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"Need and struggle are what excite and inspire us;
one hour of triumph is what brings the void ..."
William James
Life Worth Living

The brown, leather chair squeaked with every squirm I went through in trying to get comfortable for my meeting with the president.

"OK," Bob said in a deep breath as he closed the door to his office and took three wide strides to his desk. A graying man in his late fifties, he sat down across from me and paused as his eyes ran across the horizon that spanned his corner office windows.

He cupped both palms and slid them down his jaw. Bob and I had worked together for 20 years, but it was the first time I had noticed the age spots on the back of his hands.

"I've thought a lot about our conversation last week," he started slowly, "and I just wanted to check with you about whether you have any reservations about your decision."

"No," I said confidently, surprised that he expected I would have second thoughts. "This is something I've been thinking about for at least two years. I want to retire and start my own business."

"I just wanted to make sure," Bob said more abruptly, as he leaned back in his high-back chair. Somehow, he moved in his chair without causing the leather to squeak. "It's a big step."

"Well, at this stage in my life, I'm prepared -- financially and emotionally -- to take on some new challenges," I admitted. "It's not going to be easy, but, at the same time, I'm excited about it." It came out just as I had rehearsed it the night before.

"I think you'll be quite successful in the consulting business," Bob allowed. I gulped because I knew the failure rate among people who try to start small businesses was about 80 percent after the first five years.

"It's called contract employment," I said with a chuckle, knowing he always became amused when I would throw around the latest buzz words from my cadre of business gurus.

"That's right. I'll have to remember that -- contract employment."

"Actually, I consider myself more of a counselor than a consultant -- a counselor for managing change. Doesn't that sound slick?" I said lightly with another chuckle.

I knew it was going to be tough. I needed to help my potential clients look beyond my disability so they could get to know me as a person who can build collaborative, trusting relationships with them and provide them with valuable services.

"No -- that sounds good," he said more earnestly. "You could be quite successful. And, you really have done quite well for yourself here. Married. New home."

My left foot involuntarily kicked back, hitting my crutches on the maroon carpeting as I leaned further forward with my elbows on his desk.

True, I had achieved my dreams. Single until I was 40, I married Pam, and we built a new home.

But, beyond that, we didn't fit corporate life. We didn't have a family. We didn't have kids who played high school football or basketball. Therefore, we didn't go to Friday night games at the local high school. In fact, sports were not part of our lives. But, home, family and security -- and sports -- were prominent values in rural Wisconsin.

"Yeah, I basically have no debt," I finally said, following his lead, "so it's a good time to establish my own home-based business. That's part of the game plan."

"How old are you now?"

"51."

"Retirement is something I'll be looking at in a few years, too," he said, reflectively. "You'll probably have a more difficult time adjusting than I will."

I didn't know what he meant. I was ready to market my skills, developed over nearly 30 years of experience, among a broad range of businesses, and I was excited about it.

But, then, I realized what he was saying. Establishing my own business would be more difficult for me because I could not speak clearly. I was not as mobile as others because I used crutches. Due to my physical limitations, I worked more slowly than others.

"I think we need a new definition of retirement," I finally said, trying to define how I perceived my situation. "Getting established is going to take time and a lot of hard work. And, I'm trying to establish something I can do beyond 65."

"You're making the right move," he said candidly, visibly relieved that I had no reservations about leaving. "Our industry -- and our company -- are going to go through some tremendous changes during the next few years."

"Yes."

I had managed the company's corporate communication function for him during the last 17 years. I had helped facilitate his strategic planning and visioning process and had helped him position the company to take advantage of merger and acquisition opportunities as the industry went through its restructuring process to the point where the company no longer needed me.

My skills for forging links between people so that they are willing to work together effectively were needed elsewhere. Information technology, governmental deregulation and global markets were prompting businesses to adopt a more participatory management style. And, I wanted to be a part of that action.

"The more I thought about your retirement the more it became clear to me that health insurance is going to be a key part of the package we come up with," Bob said, finally focusing on the point of our meeting. "You ready to review your proposal?"

"Sure."

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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