Hire People Who Resolve "Easy Mark" Situations for Themselves

Summary:
eSight members discuss how to take responsibility when they become an "easy mark" while at work. Consider this tip for you, as a manager: Hire employees with disabilities who can resolve these issues for themselves.

Question

Prepare

Communicate

Act


In the film, "North Country," crusty Glory (played by Frances McDormand) is shown as the first woman to be hired by a mining company in northern Minnesota.

She has learned how to survive in the corporate environment, which is hobbled by blatant sexual harassment -- partly because the male employees generally believe the women are taking away much-needed jobs from the men in the community.

Glory survives by being assertive, expressing her wishes in terms understood by her fellow employees, using her sense of humor when appropriate and becoming part of the union leadership. She personally stands her ground.

Still, the job of exposing and combating the sexual harassment within the company falls on newcomer Josey Aimes (played by Charlize Theron), who eventually realizes that accommodating to the charged atmosphere, working through channels and even going to the CEO does not work to resolve the situation.

Josey seeks a solution (a class-action suite), which the other women employees, such as Betsy, did not wish to pursue because they are afraid they would lose their jobs by raising the sexual harassment issue with management.

In work environments (and in situations) much less charged than the one in "North Country," people managers often find themselves managing teams which have a Glory, a Josey and a Betsy and which are locked in conflict over a vulnerability issue.

That vulnerability could involve sexual harassment -- but it could just as well stem from another difficulty: One team member recognizes another as an "easy mark" because that employee has a disability -- and it's disrupting the team's performance.

Here's an example from an anonymous eSight member:

"I have had jobs where I cashiered. It's not hard for people to tell that I can't see well, so it made me a target. When it first happened to me, I almost lost the job. I was so angry at myself and angry at the man who had done it. I could have chewed nails! I swore I would never let it happen again, but, no matter how careful you are, there is always some slick person out there with no morals who can pull one over on you."

How do you, as manager, handle such a situation?

Members of eSight generated some insight about how they can take personal responsibility to effectively nip the problem in the bud during their discussion on the "Swimming in the Mainstream" (SiM) blog.

Specifically, the SiM participants discussed this question:

What's the best way to handle a work situation in which a person is taking advantage of you due to your apparent vulnerability?

The SiM participants generated tips about how to live well in a rough and tumble world with a sense of personal integrity, how to fashion a life beyond being an "easy mark" and how to take personal responsibility when an "easy mark" situation comes into play while at work.

Why are these tips important to you? By hiring people with disabilities who have this kind of insight and experience, you, as a manager, can save time, money and effort because you won't be handling issues that the employee with a disability can personally resolve. And that expertise comes in handy in resolving issues which have nothing to do with disability as well.


Question

"First make sure you are being taken advantage of before you go any further. You have to take responsibility for your own actions.

"Take a look at the situation from the other person's perspective. What has made you vulnerable besides your lack of sight? Make sure you are not doing anything careless. Be on your P's and Q's, as they say. Are you doing or not doing something that leaves the door open for this other person to walk right through?

- Melissa

"The temptation can be strong to assume the other person's attitude has to do with your disability. That is a mistake. If I've learned anything in my life as a visually impaired person, it's that, often as not, the other person isn't even thinking about me at all, no less focusing on my disability!

"As a group, people with disabilities are far too sensitive to what others are thinking about us. We assume any slight, or any perceived slight, is against us personally and caused by the other person's bias. This really is giving others too much credit for awareness. It is virtually always safer to assume disability has nothing to do with the bad behavior until something concrete is said or done to convince an observer...

"More often than not the difficult person is acting out of some type of fear: fear of losing her job, fear of the unknown, or fear of a perceived threat.

"We often think of the person as difficult because of a simple misunderstanding or a bit of poor communication. And, yes, sometimes people can be just plain perverse out of selfishness, ambition, immaturity, meanness or stupidity."

- Nan

Prepare

"Do whatever it takes to be less vulnerable. For instance, in addition to folding my bills differently, a former skills tutor labeled all the sections of my wallet in braille, using my braille label maker. So I can now either fold or keep every bill straight and in the appropriate compartments."

- Jake

"In general, the best strategy you can take is to tap into your own self-esteem and assertiveness. If you are clear about your own role and rights in a situation, you will be far more likely to understand where the conflict is coming from -- and what is (and is not) your responsibility.

"You are only responsible for your own behavior. You are not there to 'fix' difficult co-workers. Part of your behavior must display respect and courtesy. This can be difficult, but it is the one area you control absolutely in interpersonal situations. You may not like the way the other person is acting towards you or others, but keeping a consistently civil tongue keeps you from simply becoming part of the problem."

- Nan

Documenting everything is a great idea (dates, times, places, incidents). If you can, make copies and give them to a superior.

-Liz

Communicate

"Address the person straight on who is taking advantage of your vulnerability and ask that person to please stop. Express to him/her that you wish to be treated with some dignity and understanding."

- Len

"When you have your facts in order, you may need to confront the person depending on the situation. When I say confront, I do not mean get confrontational because that will be counterproductive.

"Talk to the person in private, and do not use a bunch of 'you' sentences. Tell him what you have observed happening and your role. Tell him your perspective and what you believe the facts to be. Maybe you can work out the problem between the two of you.

"Document your conversation. Take mental notes and put them down in writing later. It might make the person defensive if he sees you writing during your exchange.

"If you are uncomfortable with the idea of addressing the issue on your own or if the problem threatens your employment, then go to your immediate supervisor or human resources with your documentation."

- Melissa

Act

"I do think that if it is feasible make every effort to actively work out the problem. Be assertive and stand up for yourself. If you do not it will continue and likely get worse. You deserve just as much respect as anyone else, sighted or not.

"It is obvious that the co-worker is not team-oriented and is inconsiderate and disrespectful if he is intentionally taking advantage of you. If he is doing it unknowingly, he may appreciate the fact that you want to address the problem in a civil way.

"If he happens to be an uncooperative jerk, then someone in authority definitely needs to know what is going on and what kind of person is working for the company.

"If I had an employee who was taking advantage of another employee, I would like to see them work it out like adults (if it is a relatively minor infraction). If the person did not change his behavior or was not willing to listen, then I would want to take formal disciplinary action against that employee. His behavior is not only unacceptable and inappropriate; it is also likely to lead to bigger problems."

- Melissa

"Sometimes you have to learn to play as dirty as the people taking advantage of you. Generally they don't think you're smart enough, and they're putting one over on you."

- Liz

Any of these people sound like they would be the type of employee who could help your company or organization continue to move forward?

Some of them have posted offering statements on eSight, so those also may be of use to you.

Also see How to Cope Effectively With Difficult People at Work on eSight.



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Made possible by a grant from the American Express Foundation.

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