Drawing the Workplace Spotlight Due to Your Disability: How to Handle "Celebrity Status"

Summary:
We all like attention now and then, but, for a person with a disability in the workplace, it can get old and make it difficult just to get the work done. Here are some strategies to help you cope with the "spotlight."

Dan's New Job and the Company's New Blind Guy

Aren't You "Special?"

The "Poster Child," Too

Pros and Cons

Strategies for Coping

Related Content


Dan's New Job and the Company's New Blind Guy

Dan has a new job.

Dan graduated from college with a degree in computer science, having wisely taken advantage of opportunities to intern at a large, local software company and working part time for the college's information technology department. His qualifications were great, but, during one of his first job interviews, it was his stellar list of references that knocked the hiring manager's socks off. In spite of the fact that Dan is totally blind, he got the job.

Needless to say, Dam was thrilled. He settled in pretty quickly -- attending new employee training sessions, getting his accommodations in order, and endeavoring to do his best work while on probation as a new hire.

He sowed the seeds of a very good relationship with Connie, his new supervisor, and looked forward to a long and happy stint with the company.

That is when Dan started to notice something odd in the behavior of those around him. Other than Connie, he did not seem to be making friends. Or at least feeling part of the team.

He tried to tell himself that he was imagining it. It was his nervousness about being in the new job and around new people. He knew other people with disabilities who saw slights in every careless action or word from others, and he resolved not to let that happen to him. Still, he was becoming uncomfortable.

Little things started to add up. He sometimes thought he was being watched. He would feel a presence at the opening of his cubicle, and one time someone passing spoke to the person, who in turn had to reply. Other times he would be speaking to someone and suddenly realize they had walked away. If he asked someone for help, either in the office or the cafeteria, the person would seem uncomfortable and rush away afterwards. He noticed he was not being included in conversations.

Then, one day, he stopped walking just short of the water cooler and heard a conversation about him among several team mates around the corner.

"Does he live with his parents?" someone was asking.

Another replied, "He must. How else could he live? He can't cook. He can't drive. He's blind!"

At this point, Dan realized the others were curious about him but not comfortable with asking him questions directly. He heard enough to realize the others on his team bore him no ill will. They just did not know how to cope with having someone so different in their midst.

Dan managed to slip away without being noticed. He decided not to worry about the others' attitudes, since Connie and he got along so well. He hoped her role model and his positive outlook would cure the situation on its own.

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Aren't You "Special?"

Not long after the water cooler incident, Dan noticed he was starting to receive more than enough attention from a woman in the clerical pool. Bridget seemed to appear from nowhere sometimes, to be over-solicitous about his needs and to offer help when he did not need help. She would sit with him at lunch and practically cut his meat for him.

More than anything, she seemed to see Dan as an automatic confidante. She monopolized conversations with tales of her various neuroses. She would ask him for advice as if he was a guru with infinitely deep wisdom.

Dan began to wonder if being avoided by his other co-workers was the preferable situation. But he still left things as they were. He did not want to make waves or have actions he took backfire on him. He endured.

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The "Poster Child," Too

As the weeks went by, Dan tried to ignore the whispers and bear up under Bridget's focus. Then, one day, the Big Boss came around with some visiting dignitary. Much to his surprise, the Big Boss came right over to Dan's cubicle. He introduced the visitor to Dan as "our visually challenged computer whiz..." He said a great deal about Dan, but much of what he said inclined to spotlight the company's inclusive hiring practices and to demonstrate to the honored guest just how diverse a workforce the company had. It was all about what the Big Boss valued instead of Dan's capabilities.

A very awkward moment came when the dignitary asked Dan, "How long have you been here?" As Dan was about to reply, "Seven weeks," the Big Boss interrupted with some assurances people such as Dan had been with the company for "a very long time now." In fact, Dan had never run into a single other employee with a disability.

As you may expect, Dan found himself being spirited off to photo opportunities and to press events with the Big Boss. He tried to put a brave face on and to discover what it was about himself the Big Boss seemed so impressed with. That's when he realized the Big Boss was not really very interested in him at all. He turned on his effusive attention when the spotlight lit up.

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Pros and Cons

So what? Dan felt that he was not at work to have a social life. And he was not responsible for others' ignorance. Besides, wasn't it a good thing to be on TV -- showing the community that people who are blind and otherwise disabled can and do professional level work?

Unfortunately, while to some extent these observations are savvy and healthy, there are definite disadvantages to being "the blind guy" and the "poster child." Consider these:

• Teamwork is necessary in a job like Dan's. The others who shied away from him were robbing themselves, the company and Dan himself of opportunities to work together creatively.
  
  
• Other workers' lack of knowledge or understanding of disability and what it is (and is not) prevented them from understanding what Dan could contribute. They underestimated him. He missed opportunities to contribute something unique and, by default, appeared to be the poorest worker.
  
  
• The lack of teamwork was a real time waster, too. The unbidden attention from Bridget was, too. In fact, Bridget only was allowed to leave her own desk and spend time attending to Dan because her supervisor was afraid it would look insensitive to put a stop to it.
  
  
• The more others seemed to hold Dan at arm's length the more he felt he could not communicate effectively with them. As a result, Connie, who was otherwise quite pleased with Dan's performance, began to think he was lacking in interpersonal and teamwork skills.
  
  
• Dan was becoming more stressed, more awkward and really quite lonely.
  
  

The attention showered on Dan strategically by the Big Boss was also less than helpful. It took Dan away from his work. It created a greater rift between Dan and his team mates, who were becoming jealous. Dan realized that, as long as he was "the blind guy," he was not seen as Dan with his own strengths and weaknesses." He realized that his opportunities for advancement would be diminished if he were not recognized for who he was.

He also began to wonder if, in fact, other people with disabilities would not benefit from his exposure. He wondered if he was the dot on the "i" and cross on the "t" and had fulfilled the diversity quotient. So long as he was there the company was covered. It did not need to have any other employee with a disability.

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Strategies for Coping

Dan finally decided it was time to talk with Connie about this situation. The following strategies for coping with being in the spotlight include some of what they developed. This list also includes strategies Dan could have used earlier to avoid being in the "hot seat."

• Do some research when job hunting. Find out what you can about the company's inclusive workforce before you apply. Just because you might be the first and only person with a disability at the company doesn't guarantee the spotlight, but it may cue you to be more observant and take action early on.
  
  
• Be honest with yourself about others' reactions. It can be quite the tightrope walk between ignoring obvious discomfort and seeing it where it does not exist. You don't have to be a person with a disability to fall into the latter trap. We've all known people who feel perennially misunderstood or say they don't fit in. The fact is that work is not family, so "fitting in" on any other than the work level is unnecessary, and chances are others are no more or less aware of you than is appropriate. Worrying about such a thing really is what they call "borrowing trouble."
  
  When you worry that someone is slighting you, try not to read more into it than is warranted. Don't overreact. Often, if you want clarification, you can just ask, but it can be handy to wait until you have a chance to think about it. Don't interpret or reinterpret. I know someone whose reaction to something I said has so changed in her mind that it is no longer recognizable. She is now furious with me for something that never happened. Remember that people are more likely to be nervous or inept or just thoughtless than they are to be hostile. The latter does happen but less often than you may think.
  
  
• Be yourself. Don't try to act a part, whether the overachieving person with a disability or the wounded bird. The more normally "you" are the better chance they have of getting to know you.
  
  
• Take the initiative. Don't wait for others to come to you. It can be hard to know when it is OK to join discussions. Feel free to ask, "May I chime in?" or something to that purpose. Don't take rebuffs personally. Do listen for indications you are reluctantly included. However, if the conversation you join is about work and involves you, don't hesitate to get included.
  
  
• Try to be an active participant at meetings. The meeting can provide a neutral-ground opportunity to build your role in a team. Ask questions. Offer suggestions.
  
  
• Don't turn on the spotlight switch yourself. Yes, you will have times you need to ask for accommodations. It can be helpful to stay off the topic of your disability, but being matter of fact about it may be the better approach.
  
  On the other hand, demonstrate how you cope. Other workers who see you tooling along with your cane or wheelchair and using specialized tools without making a big thing about it can be a great way to answer unspoken questions. By going about your business, you're not drawing inordinate attention to what you are trying to teach.
  
  
• Decide whether to educate or not to educate. Some feel you should. Lauren told me she wrote a memo about how to work with her and passed it out. I honestly don't know if that is such a good idea. I would worry that the action would seem forced.
  
  However, I have myself made a point of offering co-workers pointers on my access needs. And I don't explain things that are not directly relevant to the work. If others want to ask what caused my visual impairment, I will answer their questions. Do what you think is best in your particular situation.
  
  
• Be sensitive. If you have a gripe about how someone is behaving or doing or not doing something, bring it up privately. Don't humiliate that person in front of others. And couch your concern in terms that won't put the other on the defensive.
  
  

Deal carefully with the boss. Dan was fortunate in having a good supervisor. Connie was not among the people who was uncomfortable around him. If your supervisor is one of the "problem people," all you can do is work hard and meet expectations. Ask for more work. Ask for more training. Make sure you know exactly what is wanted of you.

If you make mistakes, admit them. Whatever you do, don't put yourself down or make excuses, especially excuses which involve your disability. People forget about what makes you different when they get to know you as a person. Then the relevant difference, such as your competence, can come to the fore.

You can encourage your supervisor to provide diversity training as well as to model how other workers should treat you. You may want to recommend the articles about disability awareness in the Related Content section of this article below.

Asking your supervisor to be assigned to a mentor can help, too. The mentor can act as a reality check in situations you are unsure of. He can break the ice in conversations. He can also toot your horn for you when you think your achievements are being overlooked. Your supervisor may find the article, Choose the Right Mentor for a New Employee Who Is Visually Impaired,, helpful (and persuasive).

The essential problem in dealing with your boss about your disability is that unfortunately, to be trusted and recognized, you need to draw her attention away from your disability and onto your contributions. Any time you bring up your disability, you are risking that. It is important to weigh each circumstance.

Now as to the Big Boss's attentions: There may be very little you can do about that. The proportion of Big Boss individuals who are willing to take the high road when it comes to their image is small enough not to be worth the risk of bringing up what he or she may be doing.

Further, your own career (and even your supervisor's future career) may be dependent on your cooperation or at least your willingness to not rock the boat. Asking your supervisor to intervene is probably not a good idea because it will put her on the spot. You can make sure she hears your concerns about being taken away from the work for public relations activities and about the impact it is having on your productivity. That way at least she knows you are not taking advantage of the poster child role.

The one thing you may be able to do to ameliorate the effects of the Big Boss wearing you like a medal is to refer other people with disabilities to job openings in the company so there are eventually more workers who have disabilities. Such a situation would take the spotlight off you somewhat.

And maybe seeing you on the podium or on news programs with the boss will get more people with disabilities hired. In fact, the boss may be following the advice available right here on eSight Careers Network in an article I wrote called, How to Effectively Gain Public Recognition of Your Inclusion Efforts">How to Effectively Gain Public Recognition of Your Inclusion Efforts.

As for the garrulous Bridget, I'm afraid you are on your own with that one.

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